Blood Bowl Match Report: Only Fangs versus Da Maaitie Sjrekz

 And we are off for the 2026 Blood Bowl League, this time bringing my Sukubus Studios succubi team, dedicated to Slaanesh, Only Fangs to the pitch.  

 

And my first game is against Da Maaitie Sjrekz (a wordplay on The Mighty Shrek's) from Stefan, a newcomer in the League.  And I start the league in drop dead last position, as one of the final teams to start it's games... 

 

This Goblin team only starts with a rating of 685, but has all the regular misery you get against them: Fanatic, trained Troll, Chainsaw... you know, the chaotic chaos they bring along.  He used his inducements as such to get 4 temporarily Cheerleaders, 2 bribes, and both Fungus the Loon and Nobbla Blackwart joined his roster for this game.

 

And that will also mean that my Chaos Chosen team, as it is also vanilla starting out on skills, will only smack those stunties over on a single side of the dice due to them having Dodge all round.  Let's hope that my Minotaur,  Sabrina Sabok, keeps that troll occupied as much as possible and go for the quick score to have those secret weapons send off...

 

The match would be played in a Sweltering Heat, something that definitly will be having a big impact on the game as players will be send off for a drive left and right to recuperate! 

 

The game started very, very well though, with Raven Black badly hurting Snerr, immediatly followed by Abella Danger badly hurting Kur, meaning two linemen less opposing me.

  

Sabrina Sabok let out a loud below, and the unguided missile that is a minotaur raged forward, badly hurting Snas the 'Ooligan.

Only to keep going in her crazy spread, smashing the lineman Zork also down to a badly hurted mess of a former Goblin player.

 

The field was wide open now, and Raven Black ran through, the linewoman scoring the 1-0 on the field.  

 

In the resulting bookkeeping, both the Star Players where send off with a red card, as was his chainsaw wielding looney Zraki, the bribe for Fungus failing.  This left him with only a single fanatic on the field who had passed his bribe roll, and a LOT of stress less for my team!

 

Gnoc the lineman managed to make himself infamous, as he hurt Katty West badly during the next drive, the ladies out for revenge on the little guy.

 

Proxy Paige showed this determination, by literally ripping the lineman Skriclic to pieces in a display of erotiscising violence, her moans to be heard high up in the stands as she revelled in orgasmic pleasure doing so.

 

With the clock ready to sound half-time, Tanya Virago went all out over the side of the field, and scored the safe 2-0 for the game, something he probably wouldn't get back from after losing half his team and all his secret weapons after this drive, as the final fanatic was send off as well, no bribes around to save him.

 

The teams lined up for the second half, with the sweltering heat ravaging the lines, but the Only Fangs ladies immediatly set to it.  Val Steele injured Crask, sending another goblin to the badly hurt box, which was getting really filled up by now.

 Tanya Virago followed suit, putting Storr in the medical bay as well as the slaughter of the little gobbo's continued.

 Not content of others seeing to grab all the glory, Raven Black punted out Traz into the crowd, the little goblin getting seriously injured in the process and missing out on next game.

 Peachgardens then tried to get her moment of glory as well, fouling on the Troll with a +5 from assists, but a roll of double 1 only resulted in her being send off the pitch instead, and leaving the troll safe from harm... that was one lady who didn't stand in the spotlight today!

 

But amidst all that ruckus, Cat Coxx ran through, and put a solid 3-0 on the board, and if we could keep this result, an additional league point for the maximum possible score to have...

 

 

The teams set up again, though there where barely any goblins left to come to the pitch, as the sweltering heat kept reducing the numbers of active players during a drive.  

 

 

This resulted in a quick blitz and recovery of the ball on the goblin half, and Sabien DeMonia already put the 4-0 onto the board in a fast display of savageness and opportunity...

 

She followed this up in the final drive with badly hurting Gnoc, yeah, the lineman that had injured Katty West.  Vengeance always comes back in a perfumed tanga slip and pierced nipples!

 

Raven Black threw a pass to Cat Coxx to go for that ultimate try, after the kick-off result had allowed me to make a free move with the unmarked players, which was caught...

 

... but even with a re-roll, she fell over while trying to rush into the endzone, neglecting to score just one more additional goal before the referee blew the final whistle and ended the game. 

 

 

 

Most Viewed Pornstar

 

 

The MVP elected for this match was the fine Abella Danger, always in for some extreme play.  She put in a solid supporting performance after opening the match by immediatly injuring the Goblin lineman Kur, and then helping out her fellow starlets whenever she could!

 

So off to an unexpected good start in the League, with the maximum of 6 points that could be grabbed hauled in.  This propels me after a single game to the for now 3rd place in the rankings, but more importantly a lovely stack of points with the eye on the play-offs.  

I didn't expand my team on purpose to keep the "petty cash" with my next opponent limited, which will be all the strength 5 waving Ogre team, though I did get two skills: Abella Danger gained Block, while Raven Black gained Tackle, which will be handy to punt some Gnoblars along.

 

Now, time to start the team preparation trainings for the next game in two weeks...