Only You Can Save Mankind - Terry Pratchett

 Sir Terry Pratchett didn't only write Discworld, he ventured into other series as well, and this was the first book of the Johnny Maxwell trilogy.

 

Written back in 1992, it takes place in contemporary Britain compared to his usual fantasy settings.

 

Now, at 173 pages long, this is a short but actually fun book written for younger audiences, with the then upcoming world of videogames it's central theme.  Written in his usual tongue-in-cheeck style, it's a sort of Ender's Game / Ready Player One style of story, with a young boy, Johnny, becoming involved in the tales of the ScreeWee.  He encounters these newt like aliens during the playthrough of a pirated videogame, and together with a friend, Kirsty, must find a way to bring them home (and back in everyone's copy of the game).

 

It's a rather innocent story, but plays with the ideas of perception really well, as both Johnny and Kirsty view the ScreeWee totally different, putting them opposite each other initially in the dreamlike world where they encounter the aliens.  But, even for an adult, it is one of those books you take along on public transportation (you know, those 3 adults on a whole bus not scrolling all the times on their phones) for a few pages, and before you know it you finished the little book.

 

Certainly fun to check out, and I might pick up the other two volumes when I bump into them... 

Barbarian Queen

 Nothing says lazy painting saturday afternoon as an 80s (semi) fantasy movie, and this time it was Barbarian Queen from 1985.

 

Which is full of exposure to boot, so best not watch it with young kids around...

 

The plot, for as far as these movies really had one bar "show nudity, do poorly co-ordinated swordfights with slow motion movements" is that a barbarian village prepares for the wedding of Queen Amethea and prince Argan.  But the forces of Lord Arrakur attack, including gang-raping the queen's younger sister Taramis, who together witht he prince is taken prisoner.

 

Together with two other survivors, Estrild and Tiniara, Amathea sets out on a quest for vengeance, and come in contact with an underground resistance to the evil overlord.  She reunites with Argan who serves in the gladiator pits, and even though captured and tortured (yes, she kills her torturer by squeezing her vagina so hard...) they escape and lead an uprising, killing lord Arrakur and freeing the lands.

 

So yeaaaaaah, you can see where that went.  And still, even with all the nudity, it was actually an enjoyable albeit short (it runs for an hour and a quarter) movie from the era, I definitly saw worse of these kind of flicks.  But it is what you can expect from these Roger Corman movies that where strife in the 80s, and the "thigh fu" scene has to be seen to be believed.

 

Good fun, but don't expect high acting quality from this B-movie fantasy story! 

 

 

The Haul Report 436: beasties for Frostgrave and themepark exclusives

 So it's time for another instalment of The Haul Report, and let's have a look at the things added to the collections in the past weeks.

 

And now with the Frostgrave campaign kicked off, I took it upon myself to get (as much as possible) the Random Encounter table ready for next session, but first, something else on a figure level.

 

 

Purchases included an Illusionist and Apprentice blister.  While I'm playing a Witch in the current campaign, that remains my favorite school and will be using him probably in a solo campaign in the future! 

 

Efteling held a Pin Parade for it's 500th official pin, and thanks to Noshi's collegue I managed to obtain both the goodie bag with the pin, as well as the special book they released with all 500 numbered pins in.  

 

And the new Hooghmoed one just for completeness sake hehe. 

 

But there is more amusement park goodness, as we went for a 3 day trip to Disneyland Paris last weekend, where I grabbed some souvenirs.  Of course first and foremost a pin, this time a 2026 edition, for the pinboard of visited parks.  But I also grabbed one of those Grogu figures you can carry along on your shoulder, and a coin of Pirates of the Carribean.

 

And that's it for this episode, lots of themepark stuff for the collections, and some figures to keep me painting the next weeks.

Frostgave campaign episode 1: The Well of Dreams and Sorrows

 It's a go, together with Wouter and Thibaud we started a campaign for Frostgrave second edition.

 

Now, for the moment as we are three, our plan is to play a scenario twice each evening, once against each opponent, determening at the end the scenario for the session the next month.

 

But for the first game, and get a hang of the system (we made mistakes, especially in combat resulting in barely any casualties, as we found out during game 3, so that will be corrected next time) we picked the basic scenario The Well of Dreams and Sorrows, without random monstets (they will enter the campaign from next time forward).

 

Game 1: Zarbag the Illusionist versus Archibald the Sigilist

 

In the first game of tonight, the goblin Illusionist Zarbag (left) faced of against the beer-brewing dwarf Sigilist Archibald (right) to try and discover the power of the Well.

 

Both warbands deployed at the edges of the town section, ready to taste the mystical waters and learn of it's secrets.

 

The dwarfs where the first to reach the premises of the well, a statue of the Holy Lady of Crooked Dice Rolls, and drink from her fresh springwaters.

 

But the scurrying feet of the goblins could be heard nearby, as they quickly approached through the ruins.

 

The dwarfs rushed forward to secure the treasure tokens in the meantime.

 

 More of the little greenskins kept hoarding treasure tokens though, as the glittering gold coins shined in their beady little red eyes.

 

These efforts continued, as both sides wanted to grab as many riches to finance their journeys along the city though, avoiding any direct confrontations for the moment.

 

 But soon the goblin warsquigs caught sent of the dwarfs, and howling and bouncing charged forward to bite their faces off!

 

The dwarfs firmly held their line though, protecting the treasure from the vicious beasts. 

 

In the meantime, two archers had clambered up the walls to draw lines of sight to the well and try and stop anyone approaching.

 

But the dwarven apprentice Patje did manage a swig before slinking back into the city, and the game came to an end, both warbands counting their wins.  The Dwarfs, winners of the scenario, moved into a Brewery, while the greedy Goblins took refuge in a Treasury, where they took care of an injured warsquig, but the beast would not be able to join the next expedition though... 

 

Game 2: Zarbag the Illusionist versus The Witch of Balantine

 

 

And then it was time for me to step into the arena for the first of two games tonight, and I began with facing the "defeated" Zarbag of the first scenario. 

 

The section of the city was rearranged for some different gameplay...

 

 ... and both warbands set up on their edges to try and have a drink of the Well.

 

 

The greedy goblins immediatly began advancing to the open central square where the statue was located.

  

They cast an Explosive Rune nearby, but an Echanted Armoured thug bravely threw himself on it, both him and the Cursed enemy wizard taking damage from the blast.

 

The Witch of Balantine had set up and ambush though, and her warriors streamed in as Barnacle Bert made off with a single golden ring.   The brave barbarian however is SO dimwitted, he didn't even realise the enemy wizards tried to cast Fool's Gold on him, making off with the treasure unfazed.

 

Almost as dimwitted as this goblin trying to climb the walls... 

 

 As the enemy warhound was dispatched, the warriors took up positions to shield the Witch and her Apprentice, allowing them to drink from the well.

 

And after tasting the magical waters, the warbands retreated.  The Witch took residence in an old Library, while her quest had yielded 100 GC, Scrolls of both Leap and Summon Demon, and Potions of Poison and Invisibility as well as a Grimoire of Time Stop.  She advanced to level 2, increasing her Health and lowering the casting value of Curse.  Unfortunatly for Zarbag the Illusionist, his warhound did not survive the wounds it had suffered during the game.

 

Game 3: Archibald the Sigilist versus The Witch of Balantine

 

In the final game for this evening, my Witch faced the victor of the first game, the Sigilist Archibald and his merry crew looking for a mythical beerbarrel. 

 

The scenery as such was rearranged one final time for today's game...

 

... and both warbands deployed for a final run towards the Well.

 

The Witch started aggressive, rushing (and Leaping) her warriors forward. as Bob the Thug set off all alone to the far treasure.

 

The Dwarf wizard however, instead thought it a better idea to damage himself while failing to cast, and his apprentice, eager to copy his master's movements... did the same! 

 

 But soon he encountered quit some opposition, as the Sigilist's troops had their eyes on that book as well!

 

Run Bob, RUUUUUUUUUN!!!!

 

Bob managed to shake off most of his pursuers, helped mostly by being tandem Leap-frogged by both the Witch and her Apprentice. 

 

Around the well, a melee had erupted, Curses and Poison darts wreaking havoc amongst the Dwarfs efficiency.   The Dwarf apprentice drank from the well... but then a thug appeared from around a corner and pushed him into the well, draining his lifeforce as a result!

 

With three treasure tokens in her possession and not willing to risk her apprentice to also go drink from the well, the Witch of Balantine gave the order to withdraw from the field of battle, the battered dwarfs glad they where allowed to slink away with their treasure tokens.

 

Unfortunatly for them, Patje was recovered from the well, but he remained cold and stiff.  The Sigilist apprentice had died from the overdose of magical infusion of the waters.  The Witch had gained 90 GC from this encounter, a second Potion of Invisibility and a Philtre of Fairy Dust, as well as a Grimoire of Poison Dart.  She sold this book as she already knows this spell, and then spend a portion of her gold to install a Giant Cauldron in her Library.  Rising three levels, she learned Time Stop from an earlier found grimoire, increased her Will and lowered the casting value of her Leap spell.

 

So, that was the first session of our little "beer and pretzel campaign", with some hilarious moments to go with them.  The next game night for this will be in about 5 weeks, and having rolled for the scenario (so we know what to prepare in figs and scenery) that will be a night of Genie in the Bottle (ouch!).  With the Random Encounter Table (level 1 only) also coming to the table then, so it will be a lot more mayhem and chaos for sure!

 

Until then, and may you never get lost in the ruins of Felstad!