It's, well, just a rant actually. Because I'm restless, and feel like ranting and drama queening and shuffling left to right through the living room.
Here I am, sitting. Yes, just doing that, sitting and listening on the background to some woman TV channel about home interior decorating. I've been home four days now with my 'long weekends' due to my school roster, and most of this I've been tinkering with laptops of people.
My cousin's, my niece's, my aunt's and my girlfriend's laptop have all passed through my hands the past two days. Ranging from 'simple' register clean up jobs and data transfers to speaking the last rites over one that has really giving the ghost and is terminal.
But that doesn't destress me. Yes I got to play Magic, but three hours out of 4 days isn't enough to blow steam out of my troubled brain pathways. I miss my computer. I know, this sounds rather nerdy and pathetic, but it is the truth.
I got a lot of ideas lined up, I want to get back into some online gaming because, well, I've enjoyed that for the past 15 years or so (long gone are the days of Freelancer MODs online... God I loved that), and even though as I said before I won't be gaming it full time, no life style as in the days past... I just need to have something nerdy to do, even if it is the mindless daily quest grinding.
I did it this morning. I've unfrozen my World of Warcraft account, I'm going to get the old Warlock back out. I am now pondering wether or not she has been a 'chinese farmer' victim while I was gone, if she still has her gear... but on this old laptop with it's 2 RAM and it's 2002 edition of Windows XP it is highly doubtful I can run the program and open it to have a look.
I wouldn't even cry a river if it turned out she was cannibalised, my mounts and pets are soulbound so they are there anyways, and if that has happened like 'my Nemesis' once had years ago (and who is pondering to jump in as well again) I'd probably just change her from Gnome to Belf and grind through the lower levels to gear her up again steadily and build up a gold reserve again.
Nothing fancy to that, an extra chance to enjoy the storyline 'from the other sides point of view'.
I've also won a raffle at the local watering hole giving me 1000 GP and 7 days premium for World of Tanks, but I'm reluctant actually to enter the code already, no idea if I can get 'max value' out of the premium days, I'm going to have to plan that on the calendar and probably enter it tuesday evening to have a thursday, friday and next week tuesday benefit, as it has to be entered within a fortnight.
This all may sound as trivial and silly things though, but for a gamer, they are about as important as a writer with writer's block.
You see, I've always thought the RPG gamer as needing to be able to tell a 'story' in his games (I never was a man to do research on raid gear or pvp tactics), even though the particular story usually is one only he himself hears. A story that pushes back all the every day stresses and frustrations and changes them into epic stories of might and magic.
Yes, that is what one calls a geek. You got people that go out to play sports to empty their minds, that need to build a party and have a few pints and a dance. Some people can relax by doing pottery, flower arranging, solving sudoku's... but as a gamer and a geek, I relax by playing... geeky games. Simple as that, nothing to be ashamed about, it's just, well, something of the person I am.
It is still going to be around 45 days average before I can move my machine over to my GF's place and to be honest, I fear the moment she is able to return to work in two weeks after her Multiple Sclerose attack of past summer. The deep black abyss is looming in front of me, afraid of the evenings when she has the late shift and I'll be just, well, kicking heels until I can emerge myself again in virtuality.
I know this all sounds very odd to explain, but I've never been the kind of person that can talk such issues directly to someone else, especcially not the girl I love with all my heart. Because they don't have a feel with the virtual world, no connection with their PC bar seeing is at a tool for accessing social media. For someone like me, a PC isn't a tool, it's an extension.
It has my stories, it has my geeky series I still need to watch (the laptop can't support my Crunchy Roll connection), it can't turn the required graphical software to have my series popped on usb and watch here as it all 'blocks up' the screen then... and the small experiment I once ran her for playing World of Tanks ended in a 999 ping rate. On minimal graphic requirements.
Oh well, end of rant, I'm going to grab an ice cold shower now and free up the brain connections that way, and give her a good hug because it even a kind of jubilee today, another month we pulled through as a couple and still going strong ;-)