zondag 11 oktober 2015

Not A-Movie #2: MegaShark vs Kolossus

I have a heap of MegaShark movies on my to watch pile, and picked out one randomly for this weeks low budget series.

MegaShark vs Kolossus, unleashed upon the world in 2015, is actually the fourth film in this series by The Asylum, so a bit of bad timing there on the chronology, darn you D4!


While trying to harvest and activate Red Mercury, a new substance that could empower factories with a tiny drop, russian mercenaries accidentaly active a relic from the Cold War, a doomsday machine called Kolossus.  Designed by a scientist that went missing from the day the machine was created, it serves as a doomsday machine that can walk around the globe and destroy whole cities.

In the meantime, a new Megalodon (aka MegaShark) has appeared and wreaks havoc amongst the seas and oceans of Earth, tossing military ships miles away with a swoop of it`s tail.  So the plan is formed by the various factions trying to contain both these menaces to have them duke it out and destroy whomever emerges victorious...


Dodgy dialogues, idiotic techtalk ("Oxygen Destroyer Missiles" as a weapon against a... fish???), leather clad brew babes that look good and die fast... yup, this has all the typical low budget qualities.  The CGI used is relatively okay, considering you don`t have an ILM or WETA backing these sorts of projects, and the acting is in some cases even above sub-par.

Illeana Douglas, playing dr Gray, is perhaps the most recognisable face in the film, having appeared in a variety of Martin Scorcese movies, like GoodFellas and Cape Fear (that are some damn decent titles if you ask me!)


Unfortunatly, none of those technical plus points don`t hide the fact this is a low budget film, and not one of the greatest out there.  The shark attacks are blurry and dodging, most of the actors unfortunatly don`t rise above the sub-par level, the Kolossus looks like a giant from Attack on Titan that fused with the T-800 and well, the Chernobyl zone, in northern Siberia, resembles a HOT desert location hehe.


Okay, this wasn`t a great movie at all, so I`m afraid I`m putting it down to a 2.1 score only.

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